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Well I wonder what could I be refering too in the title to this post?? Obviously, it could only be one thing – the last film that I went to see at the Cinema!! The BIG Fish refers to Piranha 3D & the BIG Tits could be any number of the female breasts on display but I’m refering mainly to the lovely Miss Kelly Brook’s splendid boobies!!

Believe it or not, it is just over 1 year when I first blogged about said film & the appearance of Miss Brooks norks on the big screen. If you remember the post featured some rather lovely pictures of Kelly & porn star Riley Steele having some fun on the back of a boat….check em here if you need to remind yourself!!

Well those initial shots, couldn’t prepare me for what visual treat I was in for – not only was there loads of scantily glad top heavy ladies bouncing around in 3D, we were also treated to a rather fine 5 minute underwater lesbian scene between Kelly & Riley….we’re talking full on nudity here, all in eye busting 3D!! Marvellous….

Now unfortunatlely, I haven’t been able to find a decent clip of this cinematic masterpiece on the t’internet, but I have found the following clip that I’m sure you’ll agree gives you a pretty good idea what was going on & remember this romp lasts 5mins, all set to beautiful classical music – not AC/DC like in this vid!!

My original plot synopsis on my previous post about this film, is not too far away from the actual storyline of the film….its basically all about giant Piranhas infesting a lake following an underground tremour. Now unfortunatley for the town of Lake Victoria its Spring Break season & the water is overflowing with young attractive party goers enjoying the sun, sea & sex all helped with lashings of booze!! 

To my complete & utter shock, disgust & suprise, there have been many an ‘amateur’ porn film based around this popular American vacation, featuring lovely young ladies getting drunk & loosing all their inhabitions. Apparently, these films are called ‘Girls Gone Wild’ & I can honestly say I’ve never seen one…… HA! Anyway, one of the main parts of Piranha 3D is all about a company called ‘Wild, Wild Girls’ – who are in town to convince the local hotties to star in their homemade porn films along side Kelly Brook & Riley Steele….sweet eh?

Well, as with all film promotion these days, a fake website was set up for ‘Wild, Wild Girls’ where you can view a few pics/clips of the girls in question….along with this however, several viral videos were posted online of their previous ventures into ‘homemade’ movies – the best of which I have embedded below – cool eh?

So, although, this isn’t exactly a film review for Piranha 3D – I’ve missed too many films to start reviewing them again. If you like good looking girls in bikinis, with big boobies & plenty of 3D action with the odd bit of over the top fish eating humans, a pumping soundtrack, oh & brilliant cameo from Christopher Lloyd playing a mad scientist (who’d have thought it!!). Then I thorougly recommend you go & see this film – its nothing special, but its just good fun….plus Elizabeth Shue still looks pretty hot!! Rating: 7/10

Finally for this post, since I first mentioned about this film over a year ago – Miss Brook has become a lot more relaxed about showing her funbags, not only did she pose nude for her latest Reebok ad, she has also appeared nude in this months issue of Playboy – this just gets better & better eh? Well,  the pics are, of course after the jump!! Enjoy….. Read the rest of this entry »

As mentioned in my previous post – this entry is regarding a new British film called Boogie Woogie…..To be completely honest I don’t know a great deal about it & haven’t actually seen a full trailer for it, however I do know that it is comedy based around the international art scene – eh??

It also has a pretty strong cast, such as Gillian Anderson, Christopher Lee, Joanna Lumley, Danny Huston & Amanda Seyfried….plus some rather interesting appearances from Jamie Winstone, Heather Graham & Gemma Atkinson!!

Infact, so interesting that they are the only reason I am blogging about this film….as by the looks of the clips below, I’m not sure I’d want to see it otherwise, but need less to say topless lesbian scenes always get my attention!!

As you can see from the videos below, all 3 actresses get their kit off & participate in a little lesbian action…..

Surely those two scenes alone must be worth seeing this film – if not just on DVD eh?

To see caps of the clips above just click after the jump – which also includes topless pics of Amanda Seyfried from her next film Chloe….have to go & see that one too!!

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Yes it seems I did forget something…. in fact it could be a number of things: 1) To do a post in April? (check date on this post – may have just fluked that one!!) 2) To review a number of films that I have seen in the last few months….

I was actually un sure how many films I’d seen that I hadn’t reviewed – so I referred the oracle of film reviews, Chris & realised that since the last film that I reviewed we’d actually seen 8 movies – which considering the last film I reviewed was Surrogates in Oct 09 isn’t that many!! Anyway, I’m not going to review them now as I can hardly remember the last one I saw, let alone one from Nov last year. Needless to say Chris has reviewed them all over on his blog & as our tastes are pretty similar (we see the same films on a Tuesday), I would say check out his site for a fair review. However, I will add that the films I’ve neglected to review does include the rather superb Avatar 3D, the tense Green Zone & just excellent Kick Ass…..plus some rather ordinary films too!!

Therefore, I’ve decided that the next post will be of an up & coming film that you may just want to see……

Keep ‘em peeled!!

If I hadn’t have been more on the ball at last weeks cinema outing, I could have been mistaken & thought we were seeing the previous weeks film all over again!! Luckily for me, we weren’t about to sit through Gamer for the 2nd time, instead we were watching the latest Bruce Willis movie: Surrogates.

The movie is basically set in the future, where people can buy & live their lives through surrogate robots, whilst they sit at home in the comfort of their own house. (Familar?) Controlling their alter self out in the real world….Sounds great eh?? Well it does have some advantages, like trading yourself or the missus in for a younger model. More importantly, with no real people on the streets, the crime rate has fallen dramatically & everyone can live in safety!!

Obviously, this ideal lifestyle coudn’t last & eventually things start to go pear shaped. Luckily the human Bruce Willis, who plays a FBI Agent gets to the root of the problem, which looks to be started by a human rights group known as the Dreeds…however, not all is as it seems!!

Overall, the film is pretty decent & the robot surrogates look very convincing – as in they are robotic looking, with perfect skin tones & complexion!! Basically, they look so perfect – they have to be fake!! You know, just like fake tits!!

My score out of 10 would be an average 6….

Yet again I’ve become pretty slack with the film reviews, but to be honest this one was quite forgettable….Infact, I’m almost tempted not to even bother reviewing it, but that would be a big mis-justice on the film world!! For every good film, there are the bad & all must be reviewed!!

Anyway, Gamer should have been soooo much better than it was, a pretty decent cast & interesting concept…basically it seems that us humans in the future get way too addicted to online gaming & social networking!! So much so, some people pay to play their character in a real life ‘Sims’ online community called ‘Society.’ Infact, the characters are actually played by real people who get paid for the pleasure of doing what some fat bloke in a chair halfway across the world tells them to do….

On top of that, the latest craze to hit the online community is ‘Slayers,’ where much like the film ‘DeathRace,’ the countries top criminals fight in an online battle (think Call of Duty etc) in a chance to win their freedom!! Of course, nothing is that easy….the crazy wacko behind this online world is just as twisted as the whole concept that he invented!! Basically, injecting some special nano cell technology into their brains, in order to hook them up to the tinternet!!

Sounds crap eh?….yep it was, but I still think the whole idea was pretty good. Especially, how realistic the online community ‘Society’ was & how much like Playstation Home it was….I can just imagine all the fat blokes in chairs parading around as short skirted bimbos!!

Anyway, my score out of ten is exactly the same as Chris’ score after his review….. 3/10.

Well suprise, suprise, it seems I have let this movie review slip me by, as yet again its been nearly 2 weeks since we saw this film!! I’m talking about Peter Jackson’s latest movie: District 9. I’m sure you’ve seen the trailers, but basically this film is about Aliens visiting Earth, their space ship stalling over Jo-Burg in South Africa….the authorities breaking into the ship & housing the Aliens on board in a detention camp, which over time becomes a slum known as District 9!!

Obviously, the locals don’t really like having a bunch of Aliens on their doorstep, the ‘prawns’ (as they effectionally become known!!), & their untidy slum end up getting evicted!! This is where the film really changes tact – you see to begin with you don’t have much sympathy for these Aliens & don’t really care for them…..then as the eviction starts things change!! You see on of the human evacuation agents accidently gets sprayed by some Alien liquid (oh err – actually there was the hint of Alien/Human interaction!!), this liquid soon begins to turn the Human into an Alien, much to the delight of his empolyers!!

You see the Aliens have super weapons that the government backed controlling agency want to use for no good, but they can only be fired by the Aliens…..hence a Human/Alien mutant would be right up their street!! This is when you become a bit more sympathetic to the Aliens & their plight….. Ok, so I admit the film isn’t the best that I’ve seen recently, but quite happily passed 2hours!! So if you’re into that kinda Alien sci-fi movie genre, this wont dissapoint!

My mark out of ten is a 7…..infact my only complaint would be that the lead characters South African accent often sounded a bit dodgy & more Scottish & not once did he say “White bread or brown bread” or Diplomatic Amunity!!”

Another week passed, another film to review….However, this one is a good one, a real good one in fact!! You see last week we went to see the latest offering by Quentin Tarrinto called Inglorious Basterds. Set during WWII & the Nazi Occupation, the film follows a group of elite Jewish-American killers put together to hunt down & scalp Nazis. Led by a rather Southern American sounding Brad Pitt, the ‘Basterds’ become a right pain in the backside for Hitler & his army. Especially, when they are called upon by British Intelligence in a plot to take down the whole German high command, in a cinema during a screening of a German War Hero movie…..

They enlist the help of an undercover double agent in the form of German actress – Bridget Von Hammersmark, but unfortunately during their plot their cover is blown!! Luckily for them & without their knowing, a young Jewish lady by the name of Shoshanna Dreyfus is also planning to kill Hitler & his right hand men at said movie premiere…You see, poor Shoshanna witnessed the masacre of her family when she was younger by the excellent Col Hans Landa, she escaped & happens to be the owner of the cinema where the film is being premiered!! I wont give away the ending etc or anymore of the plot, but lets just say it truely is worth a watch!!

I must admit, the cinematography displayed by Tarrinto is superb, the opening scene for one is approx 15mins of true tense drama whilst you try & figure out what is going on – shot using brilliant camera angles!! Another scene that comes to mind is that of the 1st meeting between the Basterds & Miss Hammersmark set in a German bar….superbly well written, shot & acted…

Overall, I suggest that you watch this film at some point in the near future – at the cinema or on DVD….just be warned it can be a bit gory in places, but it truely is worth it & not out of place!! My mark out of 10 would be an excellent 9!!

About time for another film review – no really it is, as I’m sure we’ll be off to the cinema again next week & then I’ll have 2 to do!! Ahhhh….

This one has taken a while to write as I’ve been away on holiday – infact I did try & blog from my phone whilst away, but for some reason the app saved the post in drafts but I couldn’t retrieve it to blog it, so I gave up!! Oh well….

Anyway, back to business, this film review wont take long to write – basically because the film wasn’t that memorable & its been over 2 weeks since we saw it, so doubt I can remember the details!! I’m taking about the cheesy adaptation of the comic book: G.I. Joe: The Rise of The Cobra. This really was a case of the trailer making the film look 100 times better than it actually was…..For a start there’s the terrible plot, which seems to have been done a million times before!! Evil weapons manufacturer designs ultimate weapon to sell to the Government & then steal it back – Mwah Huh Huh Huh….

Then there was the really shoddy CGI special effects & finally the rubbish acting – which was surprising as there were a few famous names in the cast – including Dr Who!!??

Infact, the only decent thing in the film was the site of Sienna Miller in a cat suit & the introduction of the rather Rachel Nichols & her assets….check out more of her after the jump!!

Overall, my score out of ten for this crock of shite would be 2/10….I bet you can’t guess what those marks are for!! If you don’t believe me, check out Chris’ review too!!

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So last weeks film was The Taking of Pelham 123, which is a modern day remake of the 1974 orginal….I really rather enjoyed this tense thriller starring Denzel Washington & John Travolta!! Denzel plays  NYC Metro Dispatch Controller, Walter Garber, who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time….as John Travlota, Ryder, hi-jacks the Pelham 123 subway train!! Garber ends up being a hostage negotiater to try and put a stop to Ryder’s plan. Killing every passenger on the train – one for every minute over the hour deadline, that he doesn’t get his $10 million ransom money!!

I wont give away all the details of the plot as there is the odd little twist, but lets just say that the film is really rather entertaining for the 1Hour 45mins duration.

I can’t really think of much more to add to this review – but don’t let that put you off….If you fancy a pretty decent action packed thriller – then you can’t go wrong with this movie!! My rating would be : 7/10.

So back to normal service & time for another movie review – but don’t worry I’ll keep this short!! Mainly for two reasons: 1) It was a couple of weeks ago I saw the film & 2) It wasn’t too good or memorable….

Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince brings us up to book 6 in the series & by now I was expecting things to be getting pretty exciting in the build up to the final book (2 films). Unfortunately, I was wrong – what we got was a rather long drawn out pointless plotline, some pretty un-funny teenage sexual frustration activity &  eventually a pretty decent ending, although this didn’t really come as a shock…infact there was hardly any surprise who the Half Blood Prince was at all!! For more detail on this check out Chris’ blog as he has gone into a bit more detail – I, for one, actually found the whole movie a bit dull & too long!! Whether, this was because, I’ve not read the book – so cannot fill in the blanks, or because it was ages since I’d seen the previous film & forgotton what had happened!!

Either way, the film only gets a mediocre 5.5/10 from me….but 2 things I do know: 1) The finale of the films should be pretty good – if they get it right!! 2) Hermoine is looking fine & Emma Watson has grown up into a rather attractive young lady…..don’t believe me, check the pics after the jump – taken at the Premiere, where we nearly saw more than we bargianed for…..oh & they’re might be a pretty obvious fake pic in there too, but a man can dream, can’t he!!

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